Back on Track
Hello all..........
I know that it's been a rather long time since the last blog entry. I've taken a sabatical from many things, the blog included. I had tunnel vision, focused solely on getting out of my life as I know it. Somehow, over the past few months, with my mind targeted on Charlotte, my resume, roomate searches, and the works I hadn't noticed how much better my life had become.
Admittedly, the past six months leading up to the new year had been, well let's just say....not happy times. Miserable, hear-breaking, depressingly bleak times might be a bit more accurate. I lost myself in what was happening to me and kind of forgot to distinguish myself from all the bad shit that I had stepped in. What was happening to me, wasn't WHO I was. Once I figured this out, I also figured out alot of other things as well. At the forefront of this was the realization that I needed to move away from here and that I would and could make it happen.
Well with that thought still in mind, here is what is going on with me now.
1. I am staying in Alamance County one more year. I'm gonna stick at my school and try for my National Board Certification next year. It's an awful trying and laborious project but it will be well worth the money and opportunity after it's all said and done. Then, at the end of next year, I will have my certification to teach anywhere in the country AND I will have paid off my promise to teach in NC for four years (my teaching fellows scholarship). In other words, I'll be free, primed and ready, to move anywhere in the country. This year I will save up for that big move and spend more time planning. I'm very content with my decision and think it's the best and most mature thing to do at the moment.
2. Brian and I are back together. While it may not be the most popular choice, I am happy and optimistic about our second time around. I believe in love and forgiveness and though many of you (you've even told me) find this to make me naive, I like to believe that this makes me wise and loving. The easy and safe thing to do would be to run away from my feelings and the possibility of getting hurt again. The daring romantic thing to do is to put myself out there and believe in love once again. It sure ain't easy. Folks sure aren't making it easy for us, but this is our decision and it's not the first time (nor the last) that many people don't agree with a life choice of mine.
So now, reader, you are up to speed. Things are good. I'll enjoy them while they last becuase the bitter makes the sweet so much better.
I know that it's been a rather long time since the last blog entry. I've taken a sabatical from many things, the blog included. I had tunnel vision, focused solely on getting out of my life as I know it. Somehow, over the past few months, with my mind targeted on Charlotte, my resume, roomate searches, and the works I hadn't noticed how much better my life had become.
Admittedly, the past six months leading up to the new year had been, well let's just say....not happy times. Miserable, hear-breaking, depressingly bleak times might be a bit more accurate. I lost myself in what was happening to me and kind of forgot to distinguish myself from all the bad shit that I had stepped in. What was happening to me, wasn't WHO I was. Once I figured this out, I also figured out alot of other things as well. At the forefront of this was the realization that I needed to move away from here and that I would and could make it happen.
Well with that thought still in mind, here is what is going on with me now.
1. I am staying in Alamance County one more year. I'm gonna stick at my school and try for my National Board Certification next year. It's an awful trying and laborious project but it will be well worth the money and opportunity after it's all said and done. Then, at the end of next year, I will have my certification to teach anywhere in the country AND I will have paid off my promise to teach in NC for four years (my teaching fellows scholarship). In other words, I'll be free, primed and ready, to move anywhere in the country. This year I will save up for that big move and spend more time planning. I'm very content with my decision and think it's the best and most mature thing to do at the moment.
2. Brian and I are back together. While it may not be the most popular choice, I am happy and optimistic about our second time around. I believe in love and forgiveness and though many of you (you've even told me) find this to make me naive, I like to believe that this makes me wise and loving. The easy and safe thing to do would be to run away from my feelings and the possibility of getting hurt again. The daring romantic thing to do is to put myself out there and believe in love once again. It sure ain't easy. Folks sure aren't making it easy for us, but this is our decision and it's not the first time (nor the last) that many people don't agree with a life choice of mine.
So now, reader, you are up to speed. Things are good. I'll enjoy them while they last becuase the bitter makes the sweet so much better.
posted by John | 1:52 PM
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